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Jul 18

Dealing with Insecurity

Posted on Monday, July 18, 2011 in Christian, Daily Motions, Guides, Personal, Sheer Boredom

I know quite a few individuals in my circle of friends who are very insecure about themselves. They try not to show it because they think it’s a sign of weakness. It is. But just because it is a sign of weakness, doesn’t mean that they should keep it hidden forever. Most people would try to fix insecurity by patching it up with different things such as talents, friends, relationships, popularity, fame, and money. None of these would ever successfully cure you of your insecurity.

For me, I’ve been struggling with it for nearly all my life. I’m very pleased to tell you that I have found the way to crack it. To deal with insecurity.

First of all, there are a few things you gotta understand:

  • Insecurity is a form of identity crisis: “I don’t know who I am, without…”
  • Dealing with insecurity means that you gotta understand that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.

So, how to deal with it?

Ask yourself, what do you feel most insecure about? Are you afraid, that someday when you change a bit of your personality, you’ll be left without friends? Are you afraid, that if you lost a particular talent, you won’t have the same measure of success you once did? Are you afraid that without your popularity with the opposite sex, you’re an ugly and unattractive person?

Once you figure that out, you’ll know why you feel insecure. I’ll tell you why. All these things – people, popularity, fame, talents, money, success – are temporal and changeable. They are mutable. They do not and will not last, ever. The sooner you understand that, the better. We crave for permanence, for a sense of belonging, for stability. That is our very nature. Despite everything, these are the things that we desire, and we look for solutions in all the wrong places. The only one who can give you that permanence, stability and sense of belonging is Christ. God. Jesus. He doesn’t change. He is immutable. And He loves you.

So, root your identity in Christ. What do I mean by that? Well, the reason it’s called the Good News (in my opinion) is partly because it gives us the security we have been looking for. Look at the Jews before the coming of Christ. They had to work for their salvation. They had to be nothing less than perfect to ensure their place in heaven. Look at what happened when Christ came – people constantly told that God loves them, no matter how ugly they think they look, no matter how imperfect they are. God loves them, and all they had to do was to love him back, and to show the rest of the world that God loves them too. I am secure in the knowledge that no matter how badly I mess up, as long as I look to God, and lean on His strength, and draw breath from His grace, I am saved. I am forever saved. My soul has found its home. So, by rooting your identity in Christ, you are basically admitting and acknowledging that you are and always will be a child of God, unless of course, you choose to give it up. Your birthright, just like what Esau did. You can do it, but why? What for? A fleeting moment’s worth of pleasure? It’s not worth it.

Think of all the promises you can claim to. Think of all the goodness you can do, freely. Think of all the people who will be saved  by the knowledge that God loves them. This is your birthright. Why, why should you give it up for temporal things?

When something threatens to shake my peace, I turn to Him. I know He’ll take care of it, just as He promised He would. In the meantime, I figure out how I can overcome it as well, and how I can teach others to overcome it. God’s plans for you are always wonderful, beyond your imagination. Beyond. It will be mindblowing, it will be fantastic. It will be uber awesome. He, the Creator of the universe, is asking you to trust him. Why won’t you?

Jul 17

A Short Sojourn in the West.

Posted on Sunday, July 17, 2011 in College Life, Daily Motions, Holidays

I spent about two weeks in Nilai and KL. I can’t exactly sum the experience up in one word, though in hindsight, I’d say that it was definitely an experience for me that showed that I could thrive well outside my cocoon.

For one, I hardly know anyone back in CF. Most of my friends now run in different circles, and some are more preoccupied with … new friends. I didn’t reconnect much with my older, closer friends from before. In fact, I established newer friendships with some familiar faces, and some newer faces. It was interesting, to say the least. I wish I had more opportunity to get to know more people, and to spend time with them… though a part of me knew that I have at last found closure.

I used to think that INTI was home. As they say, “Home is where the heart is,” and when your heart isn’t there anymore… it really isn’t home anymore. Not really. But I didn’t feel like a guest. I just made it into a time of reflection, and just basically getting to know more people. Besides, I felt completely at odds with the way things were. I couldn’t bring myself to fit into the picture. I usually could, but then I realized… I changed.

It was a memorable time indeed, though. I did receive word that I was intimidating to some of the newer faces, (LOL) and well, I quite enjoyed that. I don’t care though. Never did. lol.

Anyway, this chapter of my life is closed now. I’m happy that it’s over, finally, and I can move on. to bigger and better things.

Jun 30

Monthly Progress Report.

Posted on Thursday, June 30, 2011 in Daily Motions, Holidays, Sheer Boredom

Location: Miri

so far, i’ve managed to extend my ‘welcome’ for about 2 weeks extra. life at home has been okay, optimal at best. went out with my parents most of the time, had a good full body massage, nice haircut and eyebrow tweaking. =D i’ve been keeping myself busy with lots of stuff.

pampered myself, catch up on my fave food in miri, made craft stuff. the usual. oh, and i’ve been taking up my online summer courses, which is rather… annoying. =.= sigh. oh well. at least i’m in a different timezone, so i actually have a wee bit of time to procrastinate and not do my work. :D

i’ve been making jewelry, but mostly bookmarks. running a biz isn’t too tough, but it isn’t easy either. i have to keep track of the client’s orders, requests and accommodate to their needs. besides that, i gotta have time for myself, and to keep doing what i enjoy. it’s easy to just create and design things for the sake of keeping up with the business, but it’s so tough to be continually inspired into making your own pieces. pieces that actually mean something to you. mum took me to a craft fair here, and i wasn’t the least bit inspired. you know why? the pieces were mass-produced. their quality is not lacking, of course, since they run a proper business and therefore have more resources than i do. it’s just that when you look at their items, you could actually see that it doesn’t mean a thing to them, except $. -.-  sad.

i try to come up with names, and use my inspiration as a guide on how to make my stuff. it’s pretty intuitive so far. i’m looking to purchase a few books on jewelry and needle-felting, and dollhouse miniature stuff. i’m also interested in making pop-up cards some day. just learn the technique, and start designing my own. =P for now, i’m rekindling my love for quilling, so hopefully all goes well. i’ll post up a pic of the finished product. =D next time. man, maintaining a business on handmade items ain’t easy. =[ oh well.

erm, so i packed up my stuff for holiday, and included a mini-kit to keep me occupied at least.

Location: Kuching

not ideal. i mean, i enjoy coming to Kuching when i’m allowed to have my freedom and privacy, both of which are SEVERELY lacking in this trip. i shan’t rant so publicly, but yeah. not happy. here, my welcome expires in 2 days. why oh why didn’t i think of it before? =.= tomorrow (July 1st) i’m heading off for KL, so things are bearable at this point. i finished my english course, though now i’ve just started on my british literature course. great. at least it’s not american literature. so not interested. mm. and i scored a freaking 60/100 for my 10-question quiz. NOT HAPPY. grrr. so upset. =.= my psychology exam is tomorrow, so i’d better prepare for it. ai.

i’m not sure if i should look forward to my KL trip though. O_O i mean, these are the friends i’ve not seen for almost a year already. i do keep myself updated through facebook and stuff, but there are more new faces than there are old ones. lol. besides, i know i changed a lot since i left. iuno. i’m a bit apprehensive, but the ticket’s booked. and at least i have company to go watch HP7P2 with. =D besides, when all else fails, at least i can lepak in the city and just not care. i have all the freedom in the world! :D

yeah, well, so far, that’s it. just a customary holiday report sort of thingy.

Jun 6

productive.

Posted on Monday, June 6, 2011 in College Life, Crafts, Holidays, Jewelry, Sheer Boredom

i’d say. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

my life so far?

FREAKING AWESOME.

i had to take my test about two nights ago. so happy i’m living in a GMT+8 zone. XD i get to procrastinate for about 8 hours more. freaking nice. anyway, psyc101 test. it was okay. not very satisfied i didn’t score 100. but i’m pretty much happy about the marks i got though. not a bad start at all. :) 96. weeeeeeeeee.

then there’s my english process paper. also another last min job. =P got my feedback. positively glowing reviews!

and i’ve just finished shooting some product pics for my bracelets and bookmarks i made. four charm bracelets, five bookmarks. i’ll post them up after editing them later. on top of that, i’ve shot some nice flower pics lately. which reminds me, i gotta look up on pointers on how to shoot when it’s midday. i took a few shots of the flowers just now, and i found something interesting. hehe. shall try it again tomorrow, and see what i can come up with. i never really understood why photographers try to shoot in natural light as much as possible, but today it finally dawned on me. no pun intended. =P anyway, lesson learned!

so i’ve been really busy lately. ah. and i ordered more stuff from beading.com.my to stock up on my jewelry supplies. =) next project: origami! i’m gonna try out making some complex models, and see if i can miniaturize it somehow. =) wayyyyyy too many ideas. =P

alrighty. gotta go now. toodles!

Jun 2

nightmare.

Posted on Thursday, June 2, 2011 in College Life, Daily Motions, Holidays, Sheer Boredom

EMERGENCY ALERT: PIMPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! =( gah.

alrighty, back to topic.

i haven’t had the time to indulge in all the summer plans that i set out to do. been busy trying to make sure i get my coursework completed before i start on anything else. i shall revise this silly plan of taking summer courses later. gah. unfortunately, i have another course lined up in the second half of summer. english 102 would be completed by then.

english 102 involves a lot of discussion work! it’s just annoying that i have a deadline when to post in the forum and such, and you have to respond to your classmates comment. =/ i think that having it with just 2 days in between to post something makes it inconvenient. gah. and you need it for participation grade. *grinds teeth*snarls* gah. whatev. so i have to start on my third process paper now, and figure it out. *growls*

psychology 101 is interesting, to say the least. i’m quite pleased with the overall layout. i can do the assignments by a certain due date, and they’re not all due within two days of each other or anything like that. it sorts of allows me to assign a block of time just to complete my assignments. right now i’m still preparing for my first exam – 50 questions in 50 minutes worth 100 points – so things are pretty hectic. i shall try to prepare for the second and third exams while simultaneously read up on the topics to complete my quizzes and assignments. shouldn’t be too hard.

i can’t wait for british literature! i just want to get it done and over with. i do wonder if we have to study the classics though. hopefully they wouldn’t ask us to find some weird, obscure version that i can’t just glean off the internet. hehe. alrighty, i gotta go out for breakfast now!

 

May 31

returning to my tropical home.

Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2011 in Daily Motions, Holidays, Lists, Sheer Boredom, Thoughts

 

whoaaaa. it’s almost a year since i left for US. O_O

time flew.

anyway, i got back on the 19th. spent my first week coping with jetlag and ENGL102 essays and stuff. =P been doing well so far. i wake up at 8am nowadays, don’t ask me why. even if i sleep late, my body automatically wakes up at 8. =/ no sleep-ins for me. argh.

let’s see now… what have i been up to, exactly?

well, i messed up my room. XD and have not tidied it up yet. i’ve started learning cantonese online, finished reading about 5 books in a few days, did some bracelets, finished two essays, four quizzes, two activities, took hundreds of photographs, edited a few, and spent AGES on facebook. oh, and i bought some CDs, so i shall rip off movies and such. =P hee. so, in two weeks, i’ve been rather productive. =) this is good. a very good sign indeed.

so… what else have i not done? teehee.

  • Learn new languages: Korean, Japanese, French, Cantonese. (reading, writing, speaking)
  • Learn better photography skills
    • Potential subjects:
      • Miri city
      • Food
      • Pets
      • Family gatherings
      • superdupersecretprojectthatmustnotberevealedeveruntilitisexecutedperfectly.
      • Scenery – conceptual.
  • Crafts:
    • Complete teahouse
    • Jewelry
    • Finish commissions – men’s bracelet, panda, zebra.
    • Complete gifts – housewarming gift, baby-welcoming gift, parents’ anniversary gift
  • Write stories:
    • Edit: UI, CTMEOY
    • Participate: rs-games, spring drabbles.
    • Finish: UI, Treatise.
    • Start: Fragments, Haven’t Met.
  • Graphic Design
  • Learn to cook & sew
  • Prepare pdf files
    • Cookbooks
    • Craftbooks
  • Draw again
    • Bunny & Monkey
    • Sirius & Remus

Argh. Looking at the list again made me feel like i didn’t do a whole lot of things i had set out to do. =/ alrighty. shall start on the orange-colored items soon! <3

have also been busy getting myself reacquainted with miri again, so i’ve been driving my mum around. rewarded with short trips to the cendol shop, and sometimes the bookstore, and other times, i get to buy lots and lots of cds. =) heehee. as for my current weight and body shape – MAINTAINED. :) my metabolic rate is back to normal – which means that regular intake of milo and sometimes mee kolok helps my wee tummy move along :) fufufufufufufu. no more constipation. ah. lovely. alrighty. it’s 3am. i gotta go to bed. =( too late ady!

May 31

a very floral story.

Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2011 in Daily Motions, Holidays, Inspiration, Random, Sheer Boredom

went to my aunt’s place the other day, just before she took off for kuching. there was this small plastic pot of arranged flowers, and they were dying, but still very beautiful. i couldn’t resist taking their pictures, and didn’t get enough time to fully exploit their ‘slow death’ so i brought the pot home. still not satisfied, but at least i’ve tried something different.

i experimented with different angles and focus points for each picture, and finally settled on these few after post-processing. they are all titled, though the meaning of each title and picture may differ from a person to another, have fun interpreting them. to me, each picture told a story, and each story inspired me. somehow, in my mind’s eye, these flowers weren’t just plants – they felt almost human and they had their own voices. i was especially attracted to the dying daisies, and the white carnation. enchanting.

it has its very own gallery page, but i’ll be showing a few here. =)

familiar austerity.

dreamer.

forsaken.

to the end.

 

to A Very Floral Story.

 

May 15

Day trip to Washington DC

It was splendid! I went with Yanty & Grace. :) It was a four-hour journey, and we left about 7.30 in the morning.

We parked at the East Potomac Park, since it was free. First stop was the Jefferson Memorial, and we spent some time there before heading to the Lincoln Memorial. The Reflecting Pool was still under construction, unfortunately, but it was still a sight to behold! I loved it. We then head on to the Washington Monument, but didn’t go up since they ran out of tickets and we were pressed for time. After that, we took a break by having some chilli dogs and ice cream. Brilliant lunch, I say. After resting our poor feet, we walked on to the Freer Gallery of Art, one of the Smithsonian’s museums, and then went to the National Air and Space museum. :) After wandering about, we took the Metro to the White House, and came up from the back. So we got to see the backyard. XD It was interesting to see how the people are just so … welcomed to photograph the White House so easily, and no one stops you from taking the tourist shots. Oh, we also went to the State Capitol, and took a picture from the distance. We were so tired that we just didn’t wanna walk anymore. We met up with Yanty’s friend in Maryland for dinner, at a Thai restaurant. Ooh, the Salmon Fillet was delicious. So was Yanty’s duck. Absolutely delectable! <3

The journey back was splendid, and Grace passed out so I had to stay up and keep Yanty awake. We had to drive in the rain, which made things worse, but we managed anyway. By the time we got home, it was 1am. Fwah. I passed out, and woke up at 1pm the next day. XD 12 hours. awesome sleep man.

May 12

summer plans!

Posted on Thursday, May 12, 2011 in College Life, Daily Motions, Holidays, Lists, Personal, Sheer Boredom

Hoho. 3 months without lessons. Well, not really. I’ll be having online classes to keep me occupied, but even then, I still get to have lots and lots of alone time! <3 so. which brings me to the next program: listing out all potential activities to keep me occupied.

  • Learn new languages: Korean, Japanese, French. (reading, writing, speaking)
  • Learn better photography skills
    • Potential subjects:
      • Miri city
      • Food
      • Pets
      • Family gatherings
      • superdupersecretprojectthatmustnotberevealedeveruntilitisexecutedperfectly.
      • Scenery – conceptual.
  • Crafts:
    • Complete teahouse
    • Jewelry
    • Finish commissions – men’s bracelet, panda, zebra.
    • Complete gifts – housewarming gift, baby-welcoming gift, parents’ anniversary gift
  • Write stories:
    • Edit: UI, CTMEOY
    • Participate: rs-games, spring drabbles, deviantart
    • Finish: UI, Treatise.
    • Start: Fragments, Haven’t Met.
  • Graphic Design
  • Learn to cook & sew
  • Prepare pdf files
    • Cookbooks
    • Craftbooks
  • Draw again
    • Bunny & Monkey
    • Sirius & Remus

 

May 6

><

Posted on Friday, May 6, 2011 in College Life, Daily Motions, Personal, Rants, Thoughts

Omg. >< Just finished my STAT215 exam. :( It wasn't too bad, I sorta knew what I was doing except for the final question. Now I'm cramming for my next exam: the Dreaded Organic Chem. Ohgosh. Have I mentioned abt how bad my standing is for now? I'm at a D! >< Sigh. Dear, dear God, please help me spot the questions! Thank you! Merci beaucoup! Grazi! Gracias! Xie Xie. Just please tell me what's coming out! >< :(

Apr 21

An Ode to a Sunny Spring!

Posted on Thursday, April 21, 2011 in College Life, Daily Motions, Friends' Asylum, Sheer Boredom, Thoughts

Je vous aime soleil!

Week is almost over! We have Friday off, so that’s good. I’ve no idea what to do, maybe just catch up on sleep or go out for a movie? :) Had dinner with Amerie & Amir the other day at Eat’n Park. *swoons* The cute waiter was there! Was so glad I decided to wear a turquoise spag strap top and a mini skirt. :) He still has the sweet, cute smile and his eyes are still shining! And he was so sweeeeeeeeeeeet~~~~~ Kya! I chanced a look at his name tag this time, and found that his name was Marc! Ooh! Of all the guys’ names I’ve come across so far, I’ve always been partial to Mark/Marc/any other derivations. 8D *laughs like maniac* hehehe.

So tempted to go there again, if only just to ogle at him. *dreamy sigh*

Somehow he reminds me of Remus Lupin. His voice is mellow, easy on the years. His laugh is … a bit weird. *shatters* Lol. His shaggy hair makes him look cute though, though I do prefer that he kept his hair short. Sigh. At least that makes his angular face look a bit sharper. All the angles are now softened. =( Tak suka la. But can’t deny that he looks good. :> If only Eat’n Park was an on-campus thing, I would’ve applied to work there. ^~^ Sadly, it is not.  T.T Never mind la. Aduh.

But this is why I love the sunshine right now. I get to wear all the pretty clothes I want to, and thanks to my rigorous exercising over the past few months, I look good in what I wear. :) And I can buy pretty, pretty clothes without caring that it shows my bulge, because I don’t have any bulge! :D haha!

Did I mention that i saw him staring? =) weeeeeeeeeeeeee *floats to the sky* Oh well. There’s nothing I can do about it. =( My hands are tied.

T.T

rawr.

Apr 19

Being Kind to Strangers

Posted on Tuesday, April 19, 2011 in College Life, Daily Motions, Thoughts

I’ve written a similar post before, titled Evil Bunneyh’s Guide to Schmoozing Favors. It came out as a guide of sorts, while also implying my dubious intentions and perhaps misleading my readers about my character. haha. Oops.

Since I’ve set foot in the US, I’ve gained various experiences. These experiences have enlightened me, broadened my perspectives, and shaped my character in a way that I couldn’t possibly imagine a year ago. These experiences made me relish my time here, left me to enjoy the solitude and peace the country had to offer me, and allowed me to reassess the lessons I’ve learned throughout the years. Most importantly though, these experiences have taught me of the tangible presence of God’s hand in my life and of the human nature.

We’ve all heard the various sorts of admonishments growing up, but essentially they mean the same thing: Do not talk to strangers. I was a very, very shy child back then, so the prohibition to talk to strangers was a no-brainer. Even among kids about my age, I would withdraw into my inner sanctum – my imagination. It wasn’t until kindergarten that I learned to make friends; even then I quickly learned that friendships are very, very volatile. One minute they were your friends, and the next time if you refuse them something, you are a stranger to them. It was a hard lesson to learn when you were five, let me tell you that, but that shaped my almost cynical view of human relationships, and marked the first time I thought long and hard about human nature. That, my dear reader, was also the first time I learned the skills of manipulation.

Anyway, I digress, but not completely. As I entered high school, I’ve learned to talk to strangers, but at the same time practicing the caution I was instilled with. I was curious and much too polite to turn away strangers with kind dispositions. Curious, because by then I was questioning a lot of things and my capacity for curiosity outgrew my parents’ capacity for answers. Malaysian strangers, I concluded, are very much different from the American ones I meet here. We have the inquisitive aunties who pry into your personal life with incision knives and sharp, steel scalpels; the older uncle who leers at your thigh, and if you’re on a train, perhaps grind himself against you; the barely-old-enough teenager who chats you up in vain hopes of getting your number; and the lost tourist who tries hard to speak in garbled Bahasa Malaysia to ask for directions while you stifle your giggles. Here, in the US, they are all random. There are no hidden agendas or other intentions for them to talk to you, save perhaps just to make conversation – and what a conversation it can be!

Why random? Because they wish you a good day, ask how you are, comment on the weather, comment on how bad the traffic is, comment about everything under the sun – to just pass the time away. They share about their day, their lives, kids, pets, spouses, and everything else that isn’t too personal, but just a tad friendlier than other topics. Of course, if you’re being chatted up by a fellow student, you’ll be sure to hear them grouse about their lecturers, studies, student government elections, and even how awkward it is to whisper in the elevator. Bear in mind, these are all strangers.

Sometimes, I chide myself for talking to strangers so easily, especially when I’m so far away from home. Such times of self-chastisement are usually followed by fervent prayers to keep me safe from creepy stalker guys who might rape/kill/torture/kidnap me someday. (You can never be too careful!) Other times, i wonder: What good would it bring me to be able to talk to strangers or at the very least, to be kind to them?

I got my answer today. :)

You see, I forgot to bring my keys out with me today. It wasn’t until I arrived at the meeting place to meet my friend that I remembered that, and with a cry of exasperation, I dashed off, clutching desperately to vain hopes that my roommates would be there to open the door for me. I didn’t want to ask the front desk, because I’d have to pay a fine of $25. I knocked, knocked and knocked, to no avail, and in a mad dash of brilliance, I rushed downstairs to the front desk to ask for my roommates’ phone numbers. They could not give me, for the sake of privacy, but they could call them for me. Oh, how my heart clenched and sunk when I heard that the calls went to voicemail. Nevertheless, the front desk person helped me to ask the maintenance man to open the door for me. He would only do so at his own discretion. I stood there, afraid that I would be refused, but when I saw who the maintenance man was, hope shone through. :) He was the resident maintenance man I’ve seen around, and each time, he’d greet me and I’d return the greetings warmly. :) So, he went up with me, and opened my door for me. :) heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. that’s twice now. Twice I’ve been saved by a stranger I was previously kind/warm to.

I suppose we’ll never know the consequences of our actions, but to me, every little thing counts. In times like this, it’s the sweet, kind little things that count. :)

Apr 17

implosion.

Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2011 in Holidays, Personal, Sheer Boredom, Thoughts

lately, since re-starting my miniature endeavors, i’ve stopped dreaming. dreaming as in the REM sorta thing. when i sleep, i wake up without remembering anything, other than utter blackness. at first i didn’t know why, and it felt so strange to be without dreams. somehow, some time after that i realized something.

i dream because i have no creative outlet at that time. that’s why my dreams are so wacky, so peculiar and so colorful. i don’t gain any inspiration from my dreams, but my subconscious appeared to have been searching frantically for the perfect creative outlet. hence, the implosion.

unfortunately, i’ve slowed down, miniature-wise. i’ve ventured back into writing again, as you can see from my previous posts. writing helps me put my emotions into neat, perfect categories. especially if i can decant them into characters, make them live it out realistically, so that i do not have to do it on my own. it helps keep me busy actually, and i really don’t mind it. unfortunately, i might not have time to write much now, since my exams are so near! and then i’ll be back in malaysia! whoopdedoo! can’t wait.

ah. speaking of which, i’m in a dilemma. i’m not sure what to bring home and what to leave behind – craft-supply, i mean. also, i’m gonna have to start packing now and clean my room. sigh. okok. gtg. church soon. nites.

Apr 12

Weekend Trip to Washington D.C.

Alright, the basics first:

Organizer: Residence Hall Association
Date: April 8-10
Occasion: National Cherry Blossom Festival
Accommodation: Courtyard by Marriotts, Tyson’s Corner.
Price: $49.

We were given so much free time, since all they had to do was drive us to Constitution Ave to watch the 10am parade and we were left to our own devices after that.

Firstly, this trip taught me that I should probably pick my traveling companions wisely. I’ll talk about that later.
Secondly, I got to see most of the places I wanted to see, take pretty pictures, and go shopping! 3-in-1 combo that’s difficult to top. hee.

So yes, I went up the Washington Monument, got up close to Abraham Lincoln’s statue at the Lincoln Memorial, and checked out the Jefferson Memorial. I didn’t get to go inside the White House’s compound, since that would mean I have to take up a lot of time just to queue up. Wish I had the luxury of time. Anyway, I went to the Smithsonian Institute, the castle. I’ve seen castles before, thanks to my UK trips, and sadly, this fell short of my expectations. Kinda makes you wonder just how Americans define a castle, actually. It’s a red building, with towers, but doesn’t even evoke any familiarity one would have with a typical castle. But let’s just humor them, shall we? So, I thought the Smithsonian Museum would be just like the British Museum. Turns out that it also fell short of my expectations. They had museums, and none manage to provoke any ounce of interest from me. I guess the British Museum spoiled all other museums for me. =P I went to the International Spy Museum, which costs $18 just for entry, and you can’t take pictures. So, didn’t go in, but went to the gift shop instead. =P Love the t-shirts there. Bought a few things. Also stumbled on the Sakura Matsuri, the Cherry Blossom Festival. It was fun, but the things sold there are generally expensive. Still, I managed to get a few pictures with some cosplayers, most of whom are African Americans, funnily enough. =P All in all, I did a speed-tour of Washington DC downtown, but savored it all the same. =)

Pictures? Yes, coming right up.

Now, I shall talk more about traveling companions. This was such a nightmare. >.< A slow, agonizing death.

I made sure to take note of places where my companion wanted to go and do, and I informed her of the things I would dearly love to do, and see. Of course, being the polite and generous person that I am, I made it a point that we did and saw all the things she wanted first, and then get on with my program. Ah, and here we see the obstinate jaw jut out. Such unbecoming behavior. She started whining about how her feet hurt, and how we wouldn’t have ample time to do all the things, and why we should go back to rest. At first, I agreed, yes, perhaps we should stop somewhere and rest and then pick up where we left off. I thought that would at least appease her or something. Oh, no, no. Such a trivial accommodation to her needs are too minute, not enough to compensate her for her pain. In fact, we were at the festival, and I assisted her wholeheartedly in finding the shop and item that she wanted, and as soon as she got what she wanted, she was ready to leave. At this, I thought to myself, there, there now… she’s just tired. it’s just the fatigue talking. So I told her that we would wander around to a few more stalls, and then we’ll go. I did just that, kept to my word to the “few” (2-3 stalls) and then we set off.

That night, I asked her if she wanted to come along with me to the mall. We would get a shuttle to go there. She agreed. I thought with at least 1 hour to recuperate, she would be some sort of more agreeable than before. She was, until she decided that she was sleepy, after walking for only 15 minutes after dinner. Yes, I too, was exhausted, but I trudged on, without a single complaint too. She simply could not keep her opinions of how exhausted she was to herself. I could deal with perhaps 1-2 repetitions of such proclamations, but really, do you really need to say more than 5 times every 5 minutes? Pull a face each time I pop into a shop? I did ask you to come if you wanted to, but perhaps you should have given more thought as to how exhausted you were and not come along if you were so tired. Then perhaps, you wouldn’t need to bother me incessantly with your wellbeing. I have limits too.

Nevertheless, again, I accommodated to her whims and exhaustion and agreed to go back earlier. The next day, I told her, I’d like to visit a few places, but we would visit the places she wanted to see first. Ah, she repeated her behavior from the day before. I was nearing the end of my sanity, so to speak, and also my limited patience. My friends would vouch for me and tell you that they have hardly ever seen me blown my top off, and all they’ve seen would be controlled anger. So controlled that at first glance, I really do look like I’m enjoying myself instead of seething with venomous anger. I snapped at her, a few times, in several scenarios. Let me enlighten you.

Scenario #1: A foreign tourist came up to us, and spoke in broken English (he’s from China), and asked me about certain things about the Washington Monument. When he went away, she commented that “[she] get[s] annoyed when they don’t bother to learn the language first before coming here.” Oh dear me. How ignorant can you be? “I’m also talking about illegal immigrants.” I pointed out to her, in the hopes of enlightening her with the ways of the world that she obviously is not acquainted with as of yet, that those illegal immigrants are here because they are desperate, in need of job opportunities, and that tells us that they lack the privilege of proper education, and hence, unable to learn the language of the country that they intend to sneak into. She shut up.

Scenario #2: After coming down from Washington Monument from which I managed to take a few shots of the White House, she asked me if I was still keen on going to the White House itself. I said I was. She replied by saying, “But you’ve already seen it from the Monument!” I refrained myself – trust me, I have greater control over my tongue these days – from pointing out to her that seeing it from afar is not the same as going there and relishing the sight up close for yourself, much like her obsession with the Washington Monument (she could never stop talking about it, and would each time point out to it while we are walking, and kept on saying how much she’d like to go up there soon). Alas, I was too kind. I merely said, “But I still want to go there. You can stay here if you want.” She refused, and followed me instead.

Scenario #3: I told her earlier in the day that we should try to go back by 2pm, i.e. finish touring downtown DC. She expressed her doubts that we could make it on time. I told her we could try. My last place to visit was the International Spy Museum, and by 1.30pm, we were still waiting for the train. By 1.50pm, we had just arrived at the last station before setting out to find said museum. Now, throughout that time, she would not stop talking about how we could not possibly make it by 2pm. Yes, thank you, I am very much aware of the time constraint and the sheer improbability of making it on time. Really, repeating yourself at least twice every five minutes isn’t getting you anywhere. Besides, we were already on-board the train, what else can you do? I did offer for her to stay somewhere – perhaps the National Archives – and I would fetch her on the way back. An offer she refused, on the count that she was afraid that we would get lost. Pardon me for asking, but how on earth can you get lost if you stay put in one place and just wait there? Nevertheless, I refrained from asking such a question, knowing that it would do nothing but sully my good, diplomatic reputation. Finally, just as we were walking towards the museum, she voiced out her doubts again, and I finally snapped and said, “I know.” Do understand, dear reader, that the italics emphasize the word, and I actually did use the same tone when telling her that. So she shut up.

I pointedly told her that she should feel free to head off to the hotel whilst I make use of my remaining time at the mall and come back by 4. She refused, saying that she would not know what to do with her time (we were to depart at 5pm), and decided to tag along. *inward groan and gnashing of teeth* I duly informed her that there will be lots of walking, and she should feel free also to take rest at her own liberty, and that I would not be impeded by her incessant whining. Of course, that last part was hinted at, and never explicitly said.

Besides that, she has shown unattractive tendencies to invade my privacy and claim my company as her own. On several occasions when I received text messages and replied, I noticed and caught her looking at my screen, trying to read what was being typed. She even had the audacity to meet my pointed stare with a defiant one of her own, as though my attentions should only be tailored to her, and her alone. I did not say a word at this, but merely quirked an eyebrow to show how unamused I was at her unflattering behavior. Perhaps because I did not voice out my discomfort or displeasure at this behavior, she continued to do so at various points of our travels, unabashed. Even when I emphatically turned my body away and shield the screen away from her prying eyes, she still strove to see what was being written. I ignored her completely after that, not caring at all if she said anything at all.

I’m sorry for sounding so sarcastic, and entirely too proper in my sarcasm. sigh. In a nutshell, this is what she did to annoy me:

  • Being selfish – after completing her tasks, etc, she wanted to go back to the hotel.
  • Whining – once is enough, maybe twice and I shall still be friendly… but ALL THE FREAKING TIME?
  • Scowling when things don’t go her way
  • Being ignorant and speaking like an idiot savant – watch your words before you speak la. Mau kena sepak ka?
  • Invading my privacy – i caught her looking at the screen of my phone while I typed messages or checked in on foursquare.

I hope to Heaven and All Things Good that I wouldn’t have this sort of traveling companion ever. Completely immature, ignorant, and inconsiderate. =.= Lesson learned: Lay down the ground rules before agreeing to an offer of a traveling companion. Do not accept just because you pity them (I’m an independent traveler, so I don’t mind traveling alone – I do bring my pepper spray and whatnot.)

Here are things I expect:

  • Flexibility – plans can and will change. Of course, I will try to accommodate your wants and needs and whims, and I expect the same in return.
  • Endurance & Patience – our feet will hurt from walking, yes, so don’t start whining. If you need rest, speak up, and we can arrange that. If someone needs rest, don’t pull a face. If you are so adamant of going through with your plan, offer an alternative.
  • Good conversation – I’m not interested in what you’re doing to your feet in order to relieve your pain. ’nuff said.
  • Consideration – be kind to one another. =.=
  • Manners – especially when asking for help. Lack of manners speak volumes about your character. It shows that you don’t take other people’s feelings or circumstances into consideration.
  • Frankness – if you’ve got something that bothers you, speak up! Don’t beat around the bush or formulate a mathematical solution or compose an epic poem. Just say it as it is. =.=

Gah. I look forward to seeing DC again, with different company next time.

Apr 6

lately.

Posted on Wednesday, April 6, 2011 in College Life

it’s been a while.

anyway, i really am thankful for this short and sudden lull in my workload. it’s ample time for me to recuperate and get back on track, and i really do wish i could use the spare time to clean my room and pack up or something. unfortunately, this brief hiatus in schoolwork is just making me lazy. XD

anyway, i haven’t been sleeping well lately, and i really don’t know why. =( my hours are upside down and such, and tonight, i missed the Human Wrong event. =( today was such a waste, actually, if you don’t count the time that i used to perfect my hashbrowns. i actually spent about an hour running to and fro between the library and the physics department, because of registration. they put me on hold due to some pre-req error, which is ridiculous. anyway, i just don’t understand why the woman just won’t let me register into a different lab session, when obviously the current one won’t work at all. =.= she says to go find her tomorrow, and i really do think it’s a waste of time. sigh.

i also have an appointment with my advisor tomorrow regarding my major. i do hope that all goes well. i shall have to print out the course catalog, as well as my proposed study plan. perhaps i should revise it in the morning or while waiting for her. i want to make sure i make full use of the 15minutes she allotted me.

 

Edit: i sound like stanley, like an old man. =.=