i don’t usually get so riled up much. lately, that’s been an exception.

i work only 8 hours a week, but i mostly have to cook and also go for tutoring. i do not have time for myself. fridays and sundays are of course, for God. not begrudging him for that. in fact, it is because i’m so out of it and so tired that i realized just how important time management is.

okay, i’m writing this post not to pick my time management skills apart, but to let out how i feel. i guess my heart has been so hard for so long it’s a shock for me to feel this much. but it’s been like, 3 months now, so i guess i’m holding up pretty well. :)

anyway.

i’m the kind of person who doesn’t like being belittled – for anything (can be bad in some cases). i hate it when someone tosses a comment that makes me sound worthless 0r useless. whenever someone dishes out that sort of comment, i rise up to the challenge, so to speak.

so lately a friend of mine has been saying things that are getting waaaaaaaaaaay under my skin. i don’t think she knows what she’s doing, other than asserting her superiority in the field, so i guess what i’m dealing with here is a case of inflated ego. here’s a list of things that she’s said that’s got me all fired up:

- i’ve known you for a year, think i don’t know you well enough?
- your cooking? omg, your housemate isn’t gonna get diarrhea right? (or something to that effect)
- you? dance? oh please. are you sure you’re not making a fool out of yourself?
- you? keep your room neat? really???
- you, bake? please don’t burn the house down.

oh, gee, i wonder what’s next? “oh, you, ALIVE???”

==

so i rose to the occasion. i danced harder, i danced better. when i play badminton, i make her run. when i cook, i perfect it. when i clean my room, I DAMN WELL MAKE SURE IT’S DAMN CLEAN. and when i start baking, baby, you’re gonna be licking my toes.

just because they know me for a year, doesn’t mean they know me completely. i don’t even judge you. i don’t even think that one year is enough to tell me who you really are. i can cook now, and i know how to break the recipe apart and figure things out. i can analyze it and tailor it to my needs. and when i dance, sure i will suck at first, but hey, watch me move after 2 lessons, and i’d tell ya, you’ll be running out of breath to catch up with me. i cleaned my room, and i shall maintain it. i will start baking. and you will loveeeeeee it.

i won’t even deign to tell it to your face. i don’t need to prove anything to you, because these are skill sets that i’m interested in developing in myself. i just wish that you’ll give me more room to be someone. a human. an individual.

but i guess the only thing you’re interested in is in proving me a weakling.

you know something?

i am not.

i am capable in anything i choose to be, through Him who strengthens me.

by the end of next week, i shall be able to bake 2 kinds of pie, 3 new dishes and 2 new soups.

yes, this is my pride talking. probably. i don’t know. i just want a challenge. i will rise up to it.

watch me.